Saturday, 6 January 2007
Hello everyone. looks like i'm in the verge of sleeping right now. same to the rest of the people around me? right now wee kiat, ziyun, bengguang and weijian all around me. for the past 2 days are really kinda weird times. everyone is llike so weird. firstly, i've isolated myself whenever there were alot of people. It not just once. It was almost all the time. Then i just listen to music. throughout these 3 days, i've found out alot of things and learnt quite a number of things. for the learning part, its all about Astronomy. Thats for sure. next is that i got to know everyone better. I've tried a number of things but some failed and the rest was exciting. But main thing is that i do not enjoy at all. except solo night walking at 3am. alot of things went through my head. i don't know where, when, how to start sorting out the things. As time went by, i felt so sucks. i felt something which i hate most. i still trying to figure out why do i feel that. i find it kinda wrong. although i can feel that way but i don't wanna feel that way. i guess there is a mixture of different feelings. probably all started on Day1 night. At first i do not know why these happened, but, yesterday was the day when i started to realise alot of things which i didnt see. i guess its time for me to think more in depth. Time for another change YS!!! =D when the night ends and sun rises, i began to think that every new dayhave a new hope waiting for me. Then i started remembering some of the words that i learnt in my church. Then i started feeling so shiok. And i made a few decisions within that limited time. all these decisions will reveal one day to those who needs to know.
Oh ya! i just remember something. during the moments when i sending kun loong to MRT, i know what you are talking about, just that i cant confirmed too. That's why i still have that doubt in me. i find that thing is so special. it doesn't have fixed law. it is so practical. it doesn't work on some people but it sometimes happened to unexpected people. Just now i read her blog. i don't know how to describe my feelings in words but the only qns that's still unknown and never know is still with her. I really find that thing so amazing. How amazing? I think when u are in my shoe, you'll know me better. Maybe you'll know what am i thinking and acting these few days. another thing still confusing me is the "i thought i've let go but the feeling of letting go isn't there". Have i let go certain things? I thought new year means new start but somehow the new start doesn't get into my head.
What the hell is That THING?!!?!??????!?!?! CAN ANYBODY HELP ME FIND THE ANSWER?!?!?!?!
I guess that answer will be reveal to me soon. How soon? i don't know. The answers may not be important after i die. But i know it does comfort myself coz i got one less doubt. Alright. its time for me to go. time to in search for the answers. I hope the 3 person in my mind can answer it for me. coz the anwers lies in them. =D God bless.
{/12:07:00}
Signed Tōshirō Hitsugaya.
